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Alright, boys, it’s time to get real.

By now I’m sure we have all had a good chuckle at the image but this is a serious issue with everyday blokes all over the country. Being fat does bad things to your penis and it’s time we dealt with that.

Penis? What Penis?

So first of all can, you see it?

It doesn’t take a genius to see that the more of you that’s visible, the less of your old fella is on show. Did you ever need a greater motivation to lose weight? You’re welcome. Keep gaining weight and depending on your starting position the fat pad and gut will gradually swallow your penis and lead to a condition known (genuinely) as buried penis (NSFW images).

But buried penis is just the start of the medical complications that your penis can experience when you gain weight.

For every 15-25kg of excess weight you will lose an inch of visible penis.

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These conditions are often reported alongside weight gain:

  • Low self-esteem

Being overweight is hard enough and every time you jump in the shower I have no doubt you avoid the mirror like the plague. The extra weight you’re carrying isn’t showing you at your best. The truth is when your confidence is at an all-time low it can impact on your entire life, not just your sex life but lead to stress, anxiety and depression.

  • Reduced stamina

Let’s be clear – just because you’re overweight, doesn’t mean that you’re not fit, but many overweight and obese men report that their overall health declines when they get fat. But your output decreases then this can impact on your sexual performance.

  • Skin problems

When your penis is stuck among hot and sweaty folds of flesh it is a breeding ground for bacteria and this can lead to conditions such as thrush (courtesy of Candida albicans) and tinea cruris, or crotch rot. Please, for the love of all that is holy, never Google Image Search that phrase. Just. Don’t.

  • Loss of sensation

This can be a problem when the extra flesh from your gut starts squashing the nerve endings in your penis. FYI there are 4,000 sensory nerve endings at the end of the penis.

  • Circulation problems

And it’s not just nerve tissue affected by surplus weight: excess weight increases the chance of circulation problems, so the amount of blood that is delivered to the penis drops and you are more likely to suffer from some form of erectile dysfunction. Joy.

Conclusions

Oh man, I’m glad that’s over it’s a pretty intense read. Now I’m sure we can all agree on one thing, that as men confidence is something we rely on to get us through the day and when something as simple as not being able to see our manhood first thing in the morning is a constant reminder of how much weight we are carrying.

That in itself should be all the motivation we need.